Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Rant Alert: I Hate September

I know that T. S. Eliot said that April was the cruelest month, but my least favorite time of the year is September.

For me, the main problem with September is one of geography. In other parts of the country, September is the start of autumn. It's a time when the weather starts cooling and leaves start falling. Whereas in Southern California, September is actually one of the hottest months of the year - certainly hotter than June, which is notorious for its overcast skies known as "June gloom."

This wouldn't be a problem except that my mailbox gets full of foodie catalogs going on and on about roasting and "savor the flavors of fall" and hey look here's our Thanksgiving preview issue. All this while it's still 90 damn degrees here and I'm stuck grilling again when what I really want to do is roast some potatoes or make a big pot of soup.

Even throwing out the catalogs doesn't help, because if you venture out of the house into the 90-degree heat, every Starbucks you pass is selling pumpkin-spiced* drinks, in honor of fall. And those just don't work when you're in your shorts and sweating every time you poke your head out the door.

And part of the problem with September is that it's supposed to be fall but is really still summer - the most overrated of all the seasons. Summer stopped being fun for me when I stopped getting summer vacations (moving to a much less temperate area of California didn't help either). Summer sucks when you're a responsible adult, as you have to deal with erratic family schedules (not to mention having to plan summer camps and whatnot months in advance) and with finding the sweet spot for running the A/C (just enough so everyone isn't constantly hot and uncomfortable, not enough to require declaring bankruptcy).

So that person you see in a house with the thermostat set at 79, looking grumpy and browsing through cookbooks in anticipation of going nuts with roasting when the weather cools? That would be me. I hate September.

*Personally I find anything that is pumpkin-spiced and isn't pie or bread to be disgusting, but that's not the point.

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